How to free your feelings through music?
Written by Greta Jonaityte.
Ieva LangaitE is a musician who decided to become a music therapist when she realized that the power of music goes far beyond its use for entertainment purposes. Ieva found meaning and joy in helping others heal mentally through music.
This work is interesting, but mostly challenging. She shares her insights about how not to get lost in emotions; how to set ourselves free and live creatively; why a human connection is so important; and how to keep the child alive within.
What was your dream as a child? Did you always want to become a musician?
Except for my dream to work in a kiosk so I can sell (and eat) candies when I was in a kindergarten, my interest in music was always there. Playing flute came naturally to me at an early age. Making a first sound on a flute for a child can be quite a struggle but for me it was spontaneous, so that motivated me to keep practicing. Besides, I think my environment has also played a big role in my choice to pursue a musician’s career. I was encouraged to continue this path by my flute teacher and by my mother who was very proud of my achievements. Other people surrounding me at the academy were a source of inspiration too. I really loved the accepting and free environment there.
Now I understand that playing flute has really helped me go through many stressful situations in my teenage years. Every teenager experiences this period when one is on a quest for self-identity, while all the emotions are felt way stronger than in any other period of life. It was the time, when I too experienced many overwhelming emotions. Flute was like a palpable support for me and it helped me in my search of my identity. Having something I am good at gave me confidence. Besides, the process of playing flute obliged me to breath deeper, focus on a piece of music and express myself through it. Having this medium of expression helped me find more balance in that chaotic experience of being a teenager.
What made you change your path and choose music therapy?
I had difficulty motivating myself to play alone in a practice room and find purpose in that. Besides, studying classical music had many rules that obliged me to play in a certain way, which restricted my free musical expression. I knew that in order to get a job I would have to go through countless auditions and couldn’t allow myself to make any mistakes because there are hundreds of amazing musicians trying to get that one job in an orchestra. My love for flute was slowly declining while the stress for performing well was increasing.
I always really wanted to work with people and help them in one way or another. Even at my music school, other orchestra players would often come to my practice room to drink tea and speak about their concerns. Ever since the beginning of my studies, I got interested in a free group improvisation, where I experienced a sort of communication without words. That allowed me to feel a connection with fellow improvisers and to be part of a group without a need to speak. When I found out that music therapy exists as a profession that would allow me to use music and work with people, I was immediately drawn to it.
We can tell there is a recent change in people’s attitudes towards getting mental health help. More and more people seek self-improvement and personal growth, so starting a therapy practice is not so unusual anymore. Music therapy, on the other hand, seems to be still a less discovered area. Can you tell me more about your job? How does music therapy work?
It’s a musical exchange in which I can support a person in music, without the necessity of words. Firstly, like in any therapy, it is very important for a client to feel safe and trust the therapist. Then, we work with what unconsciously occupies a person’s mind, including any difficult relations with self or others, fears, desires, memories or experiences. We can experience those feelings in the music; my role is to support a person in their experience and give it a musical form. It usually happens through improvisation, but also through musical games, songwriting or simply by listening to music, discussing it. In fact, sometimes it can be easier to play and sing our feelings out than to find words for it. So releasing what is unconsciously oppressive really allows us dealing with it.
It is true that recently people really seek for personal growth and are more open to go to therapies. However, music therapy is still a lesser-known choice. A small demand for it might be related to the belief that one needs to know how to sing or play instruments to be able to take part in it. In truth, it doesn’t require people to have any skills. It can be a scary experience at first though, but nobody will force one to sing; everyone really does what feels comfortable and safe.
What is the toughest part of your job?
As a therapist, I hear many difficult personal stories that arise heavy feelings within myself too. These stories, coming together with strong patient’s emotions, are not always easy to leave behind after the session.
That being said, do you find it difficult to distance yourself from your patients’ stories? You constantly help people cope with their problems. At the end of the day, how do you avoid getting overwhelmed and how do you take care of your own mental health?
I think I just have to accept that I will get overwhelmed at times. However, talking to my colleagues helps a lot to leave work behind. Given that we cannot discuss clients’ related concerns with anyone else except other professionals, it’s crucial to have a network and be a part of a community of other therapists with whom you could talk, ask questions or share your own feelings. In fact, getting support from another professional is every therapist’s responsibility even when working on your own. This job can be tough mentally, and a therapist might also feel many emotions. Regularly following your own therapy helps to recognise whether these emotions come from you or from the other person.
As a music therapist, throughout the day I play the music that my clients encourage, create or ask for. What helps me make a separation between work and my private life, is listening to my own music after all sessions are finished. I sing songs of my choice or play an improvisation and this sort of ‘workday closing ritual’ helps me clear my mind.
How did you decide to work with children? How hard it is to make them open up?
From my early teenage years, I was surrounded by children, I babysat a lot and that made me feel comfortable around them. I always enjoyed it too. As far as I remember myself, I was always organising and leading activities for kids in my family.
I’ve worked with various populations before and really enjoyed it, but working with children, teenagers and young adults is what attracts me the most. In fact, I still get to work with adults as I do sessions with parents too. It is very important to make common sessions together with children and their parents to help them build a stronger relationship.
In general, children are naturally much more open and spontaneous than adults. They are very expressive with their voices – often the younger the kids are, the more expressive they are. Then, with time, people start constraining themselves. With age, adults become more and more restricted, put up walls, stop playing.
When children come to my session, they often want to play straight away. They want to see the instruments and try them out. Any therapy with children, generally happens through playing. For children it’s vital, it improves their overall development. Besides, through playing you can really observe and understand a child. It’s a tool to communicate and sense their feelings. Some children are unable to play because of some traumatic experiences. If this is the case, one of my tasks is to create a safe and trusting environment and build a relationship with them in order to help them relax and enable to play. We sing and create songs, play games and instruments.
What do you love most about being a music therapist?
I’m very curious, so every person’s experience and life story is interesting to me. Besides, I just love seeing how much music means to others and how much it can help to attune, communicate or survive difficult periods. It is a very stimulating medium and this possibility to be with a person in music and support their emotions through music is a very rewarding experience. Lastly, even if it’s a challenging job, I do enjoy playing and singing together with my clients. I truly appreciate them sharing musical experiences with me.
Besides, we are all naturally inclined to search for purpose in our lives. While I sometimes hear my friends talking about the search for purposes in their jobs, I feel lucky because I think for me, it is not so difficult to find meaning in what I do. I find it in being there for people and guiding them throughout their struggles. I also find meaning in trying to create communities and connect people. I think it is vital to help and support one another; we don’t have to go through our difficulties all by ourselves. We can learn that from our ancestors who were more communal and always sang together to celebrate, endure, mourn, in such way actively carrying and accompanying one another in their emotions.
So what does your typical day look like?
Usually, I don’t prepare a fixed plan because most often it’s the client who leads and chooses what happens in the session; I just try to listen, follow, and support what the person wants to do. I start the day by checking my agenda to know which clients I am going to see. When I do sessions in a hospital, I can read notes about my patients and see if any crisis occurred that week. It can be helpful for me to know the specific events so I can give adequate support. After each session, I make my own notes as to be able to monitor and analyse the process with the client. Then, I also have meetings, supervision consultations and my own therapy.
When working on your own, you need to ensure financial stability. It can thus be tempting to keep accepting new clients and enormous workloads until you finally realise you do nothing else but work. What about you? Do you manage to find balance and easily disconnect from work?
It’s true that at the beginning of one’s career, it is very difficult to say no, but in my case it’s not even for financial reasons. In fact, I want to give an opportunity to everyone who wants a music therapy session, especially knowing that nowadays the waiting lists for children and teenagers to get professional mental health support can take up to two years. As a starting professional, I am also interested in having different experiences where I can not only help but also learn. However, with time I began to see that having too many therapeutic consultations actually decreases the quality of my work. I’m still learning to say no so I can find that balance and ensure quality help. I guess it is an important step in everyone’s career.
What does your workplace look like?
My work place is full of instruments. It is important to have a wide range of instruments for a client to be able to choose from and express all emotions. These are instruments that everyone can make sounds with, and every year I expand my collection. Although, it should not become an overwhelming choice for a person either. Besides, my workplace has to be cosy and light, full of blankets and pillows, where one could comfortably nestle down. Sometimes children even make themselves a sort of small house in which they can feel safe or hide.
Contrary to popular belief that adults know better, I think a lot can be learned from children. What are the lessons you’ve learned from working with and observing children?
One of the most important things I learned is that we, as adults, have to hold on to the child within ourselves. Allowing ourselves to keep that child within alive helps us to stay curious, to keep playing and to express ourselves creatively, be it through painting, dancing, playing music or singing. There is no prescription to everyone; one has to find what fits themselves best. I believe that living creatively gives us more freedom.
